Facebook Prank
by RedMacaque
Summary: When Kyle hacks into Cartman's Facebook account, he finally gets the chance for revenge. But could this revenge backfire on him?
1. The Cackle

After a long streak of misfortunate events and one stupid adventure after another, today was one of the best days ever for Kyle. He smiled mischievously at the computer screen in front of him, rubbing his hands together with evil delight. A light cackle escaped his throat.

"Don't bust a nut Kyle, it's only Cartman's Facebook." Kenny reminded him. He glanced at the computer screen from behind as Kyle hunched over the office chair. Stan sat bored on Kyle's bed, not nearly as amused with all of this as Kyle was. He always thought Facebook was stupid, anyway.

"So how did you get hold of Cartman's password, again?" he asked, not entirely sure why he cared in the first place. Maybe because there was nothing better to do.

Kyle spun around in the swivel chair, grinning like a madman. "I found a password cracking program somewhere, but I didn't think it would actually work! Who would've guessed that his password was something as simple as 'teddybear'?"

"What a fucking retard!" Kenny chuckled.

"Oh, he'll really look like a retard when we're done with him." a devilish glint appeared in Kyle's eyes, briefly matching that of his red hair.

Stan sighed, folding his arms in boredom. "Are you sure this really a good idea? I mean, eventually, he'll find out it was you.."

Kyle turned around again, this time to shoot an angry glare at Stan. "Are you kidding me? Maybe Cartman doesn't bother _you_ as much, but I'm tired of that fat sack of shit. This is hardly fair revenge for all the crap he's done." he snapped. Kenny nodded in agreement.

Kyle rubbed his hands together again, his anger quickly turning back into excitement. This was finally revenge. The thought of having power over Cartman's Facebook page was great. So maybe he was an internet nerd and cared too much about these things, but it was still great.

"Whatever. It just seems like these type of things always backfire." Stan said, knowing that whenever someone tried to trick Cartman, things went wrong. Sometimes, they went very wrong.

Kyle ignored him and clicked on "edit profile" at the top of the screen. There were all kinds of information boxes to fill out, all of which their classmates would read when they viewed his profile. Hehehe. 'Name: Eric Cartman, Age: 10, Hobbies & Interests:..'

"What should we write under 'Hobbies & Interests'?" he pondered aloud, tapping on the keyboard tray. "Come on, I need some funny ideas.."

"Sucking dick." Kenny suggested without much thought. Stan finally cracked a smile. If he was going to be stuck here, he might as well help them destroy Cartman's reputation. "Umm..how about, rubbing bacon grease on his man-tits?" he suggested with a laugh. They all giggled.

"Licking used tampons." Kenny added. They spent the next two minutes coming up with several repulsive "interests and hobbies."

The three continued to laugh in mirth at all the obscenely embarrassing possibilities for Cartman's profile. Stan finally began to lighten up._ Maybe this could be fun, after all_, he thought. Perhaps he was just overestimating Cartman's revenge abilities. It's not like it could be _that _dangerous to play a simple joke on him.

"Oh, post a picture of him in dressed like a chick!" Kenny urged. Kyle rolled his eyes. "Where are we going to find that?"

"It shouldn't be hard to find one!" Kenny doubled over with laughter. He started to wheeze as the laughter built up, then fell to the ground, clutching and punching at his stomach to keep from choking.

"Don't die on us now, Kenny!" Kyle warned.

Kenny's wheezing turned into a full on choking fit before he fell unconscious. Stan and Kyle exchanged a dreadful glance, ready to bust out their death catchphrases, but then Kenny recovered and sat back up on the carpet.

"Whew, that was close." Kyle sighed. He could only thank Satan for not having to drag a dead body out of his house again.

* * *

After several more stupid ideas of what should be done to destroy Cartman's profile of well over _five hundred_ friends, including Cartman's _family relatives_, Kyle decided on the perfect plan. They wouldn't do anything _too _obscene, because then it'd be obvious that he'd been hacked. Instead, the best plan would have to look real.

"I've got it. So we want to make him look super gay, right?" he smiled.

"Yep." Stan and Kenny both agreed.

"So, we'll use Butters."

"Hm? Butters.." Stan nodded, chuckling. He didn't even know what the idea was yet, but the mention of Butters' name made it obvious. Of course Butters would be involved, it just wasn't a plan otherwise. He was such a gullible dork that any plan using him could work.

"So, what are we gonna do to him this time?"

"We're going to put Butters and Cartman in a relationship." Kyle announced.

Stan rubbed his chin. "That won't work. You can't do that unless you send a request to Butters, and he approves it. I tried it with Wendy."

"Do you really think he _wouldn't _accept it?" Kyle mused.

Stan thought for a second. It _was_ Butters, the questionably strange boy who followed Cartman around like a dog, and regularly had sleepovers with. "No."

"Alright, so how do you send a relationship request to someone?" Kyle asked. For the first time ever, the computer genius didn't know something on the computer. Kenny mumbled from behind his hood, chuckling.

Kyle glared at him. "Shut up, Kenny! You never have girlfriends either, you whore!"

The lady's man shrugged, then pushed Kyle out of the computer chair to make way for himself. After clicking a few buttons and pressing a few keys, a box popped up, prompting him to write a message. Kenny started to type into the box.

"_Dear Butters: My lust and passion for you is everlasting. I want to suck_-"

"Dude, don't write that!" Kyle yelled. Kenny stopped typing, laughing. "Why not?" he grinned.

"Because he's going to know it's fake if you write that. It has to sound real, so he'll accept it."

"Yeah, that might scare him. It should be super gay, but not like that." Stan agreed.

"Ugh. Just move over, I'll write it." This time Kenny was pushed out of the seat as Kyle took the keyboard. He hit the backspace button and began typing a new message.

"_Dear Butters: ..."_

After a full minute of thinking, he sighed. His mind was completely blank of ideas. "Alright, I give up." he jumped out of the chair. "Stan, you're good at writing gay poems and shit; so _you _can write it."

Stan frowned and shook his head. "How am I supposed to know what to write?"

"Just pretend you're writing a lame ass poem for Wendy or something."

"I told you guys, I don't like Wendy anymore!" he growled.

"Well pretend it's someone you like then!"

Stan grumbled, but then hunched over the keyboard to type the fake "love letter" from Cartman to Butters. He wondered why had he gotten dragged into this stupid plan in the first place? In a way, he knew Cartman would get them back eventually; that was inevitable. Messing around with Cartman was usually a bad idea. He shuddered as he remembered Scott Tenorman.

"_Dear Butters: My love for you is an abysmal, bottomless pit."_ it took him a moment to think up the first poetic line, and Kyle snickered over his shoulder as he wrote it. "_It is eternal and everlasting. You are so, so very cool_."

They both snorted at the mention of Butters being "cool".

"Wait, it's missing something." Kyle decided, and grabbed the keyboard. "_I can only dream that you would love a fat, disgusting tub of lard like me_." he added to the end of the note.

"Are you sure that's believable?" Kenny questioned.

Kyle shrugged. "It's for Butters, does it need to be?"

"You just better hope your ass that Cartman doesn't see it." Stan warned.

"Whatever, that fat shit can't hurt me." Kyle quickly clicked the little SEND button in the corner, and then smiled. He then deleted any traces of the sent message from Cartman's inbox.

The first step to ruining Cartman's reputation (even if his reputation was largely self-imagined) was complete.


	2. God Hates Homos

Butters sat in front of his computer screen, gnawing nervously on a fingernail. He'd been looking at the same words for ten minutes now, unsure how to decipher them.

_"Dear Butters,_

_My love for you is an abysmal, bottomless pit. It is eternal and everlasting. You are so, so very cool. I can only dream that you would love a fat, disgusting tub of lard like me. Love, Eric._"

So..Eric thought he was..cool? And he wanted to have a relationship, with _him_ of all people? And, aw, he's not really that fat, poor Eric just put himself down all the time.

But..this was something he'd never guess; it was all too much to take in. He'd only logged onto Facebook to play games, but instead was met with this riddling love message popping up on his screen.

In a way, he always knew Cartman was gay. However, Butters was pretty sure that he himself was straight, because he kind of liked looking at lady boobs. He especially liked Stan's mom's boobs.

But then again, Butters' dad had always told him that he was insane, and that his brain tricked him sometimes. Maybe he was indeed a homosexual, and his crazy brain was just telling him otherwise.

He stared at the message again. This was too much pressure.

Kyle was about to go to sleep before he checked Cartman's Facebook account one last time. There was a message on the screen from Butters. He clicked it excitedly.

"Eric, I'm really flattered, but I don't think I'm gay." it read.

Kyle sighed. This would require a bit of extra effort. He began to type a message back. "Yes u are, Butters." and, _send_.

He laughed and decided to wait for a response. Butters was usually always online. A few minutes later, he got another message.

"..Really? I am? Are you sure?" Butters had replied.

Kyle sighed and began typing again. "Yes. I'm totally sure."

Less than a minute later, Butters' next reply came back. "Oh, ok."

_'What an idiot_' Kyle thought to himself. He chuckled maniacally as he sent another relationship request to Butters' profile. This time, he wanted to be sure that Butters would accept it. With a burst of laughter, he wrote "You're gay and you love me, remember?", knowing that Butters would believe anything he was told.

Before long, the relationship was Facebook official. Easy as cake.

* * *

That morning at school, the hallways weren't very different than usual. Students scrambled through their lockers and talked to each other in the hallways. But of course, the news about South Park Elementary's first gay couple must have spread all over Facebook last night. Kyle was sure that the other students were probably eager to see if the "gay couple" was going to show up. Gossip traveled fast in South Park.

Stan, Kenny and Kyle stood by their lockers during homeroom, watching with intent all of the commotion going on about in the halls. Especially among the girls. "Do you think they're all talking about Cartman and Butters?" Kyle asked.

"No shit!" Kenny mumbled. "What else would they be talking about?"

Kyle shifted anxiously. He wasn't sure how Cartman would take the inevitable news when he found out. He'd probably be ridiculed the moment he stepped through the school doors. But he was delighted for all the ridicule Cartman was going to face. "I didn't think people would be making such a _big deal_ over it. Oh my god, this is great."

Stan shook his head. Neither one of the "gay couple" had showed up, yet. And he was pretty sure that nobody cared, either. However, he hoped that Cartman wasn't out murdering Butters somewhere right now. This wasn't really _Butters'_ fault, even though he _was_ a dumbass.

* * *

Cartman could smell something different in the air when he arrived at school that morning. Something that smelled like trouble. Or maybe, it was just the aroma of french toast sticks coming from the cafeteria.

He was about to walk to the cafeteria and get some french toast sticks, when a hand tugged on his arm. He turned and saw Butters staring at him nervously. Butters' eyes shifted back and forth. What crawled up his ass that morning?

"Butters. What do you want?" Cartman sighed irritably. He _hated _missing out on a second breakfast, especially if it was french toast sticks.

"Um..can I just talk to you for a minute?" Butters sputtered out, glancing around the empty hall. He was acting just like Tweek.

Cartman growled dramatically and threw his hands up. "Fine, but make it quick. I'm starving."

Butters fidgeted with his hands and knuckles before speaking.

"Well? What is it?" Cartman folded his arms and rolled his eyes, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Um..well. To be honest, I'm kind of..scared..about this new relationship." Butters said reluctantly.

"What relationship?" Cartman truly didn't care about Butters' personal problems. He was getting really irritable, and just wanted some god damn french toast sticks already.

"I mean, I didn't even think I was gay, but _you _told me I was gay, so -"

"What are you talking about, gaywad?" Cartman rolled his eyes.

"See, that's what I mean. You keep telling me that I'm gay, but I don't think-"

Cartman cut him off before he could finish. "Butters, I was just joking, geez. I always call you a homo, everyone does. I know you're not really_ gay_."

"What? But then, why did you ask me out? Was that a joke, then?" Butters mumbled, confused. He began to wring his hands together.

Cartman raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"WHY DID YOU TELL ME WE'RE GAY, THEN PUT OUR RELATIONSHIP ON FACEBOOK? AH GOD, THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING! I'M GONNA BE IN TROUBLE!" Butters shouted crazily, fidgeting even more. A few people in the hallway began to stare at him.

"What are you-" Cartman went blank for a moment as realization hit him. He remembered trying to log onto Facebook last night. Despite multiple attempts, he couldn't access his account. He tried it again in the morning, but just got the same message.

_'Username/Password invalid_.'

A sense of fury came over him. He'd been _hacked_. "Butters, are you saying..?"

"Everyone is going to make fun of us now! And if my parents find out, I'll be grounded forever! I don't like being gay very much, Eric!" Butters clutched onto Cartman's sweater, crying nervously into his arm. He hugged him clumsily, before Cartman pushed him away.

Cartman was fuming with anger. He knew immediately who hacked him. There was only one person who'd ever bother trying to uncode such a cryptic password. _Teddybear_. Yet at the same time, he experienced a strange sensation overriding his anger. Butters was clinging to him like that, and he just..felt something different. Was it possibly..concern that he felt?

He looked at the pathetic wimp and resisted the urge to pat his head. "Dude..chill out! Don't worry. If people ask, we'll just tell them that Kahl hacked our Facebooks. Simple, really." he said with a smirk.

Butters rubbed his nose and looked back at him, sniffling. "But it's not Kyle's fault that we're homos. God hates us!"

Cartman grinded his teeth. "Just shut up, Butters."


	3. Elementary School Musical

The bell had rung, and there were still no signs of the now "Facebook official" gay couple in their homeroom. Not that anyone besides, Stan, Kyle and Kenny cared. Mr. Garrison's students reluctantly read the chalkboard for their morning assignment. Butters sprinted down the hallway after the bell, with Cartman heaving and panting behind him. Butters thought it would only be fair to wait for his boyfriend before entering the room. They both took a deep breath before entering.

They stepped into Mr. Garrison's class after everyone had already been seated. A few eyes in the classroom turned to them. Some of their classmates started whispering. Despite Kyle's desperate attempts to contain his laughter, a strained chuckle escaped his mouth. Kenny put his head down on the desk to prevent himself from laughing.

Cartman directed an evil glare right at Kyle. It was a glare so deep, you could almost see fire and _chili_ in his eyes. Kyle tried to play it cool, but nervously recoiled in his seat.

Stan swallowed a lump in his throat. He'd seen that glare before.

* * *

Cartman didn't bother to say anything during homeroom. He actually did quite a normal job at acting as though completely unaware that his Facebook had even been hacked. Which both intrigued and concerned Kyle. Kyle didn't want to bring up Cartman's new Facebook status for fear of looking suspicious. Cartman would inevitably find out about it, anyway. All Kyle had to do was sit back, wait, and watch. And so he did.

But nothing ever happened.

Nobody at school mentioned Cartman and Butters' newly announced relationship. He waited all morning. He waited for the taunts and teasing. The toilet swirlies. A simple "kick me, I'm a faggot" sign duck taped to Cartman's back. Maybe even a penis drawn with a sharpie on their lockers. Just, anything! At lunch period, he even sat close to the girls' table to listen for the much expected gossip. Surely they would at least mention it. But no - all they talked about was some new jewelry store at the mall. There was no mention of Cartman and Butters at all.

Kenny and Stan sat adjacent from Kyle at the empty lunch table. Kenny shrugged, looking over to the table where the other boys sat. Nobody had spoken a word of their new gay relationship. "Well, we tried dude.."

Stan shook his head. "I guess people are so politically correct now that they won't even rip on the gay kids anymore."

Kyle tightened his fists. "No! We didn't waste our time planning this for nothing. I'm going to go over there and see what's up. Cartman _will_ be publicly embarrassed, even if I have to intervene."

He walked straight over to the boys' lunch table and sat down. "Hey guys" he said, containing forced laughter. Token nodded to him, and Timmy said "Timmah!"

"H-Hey there, Kyle. Wuh-what's so funny, if you don't muh-muh-mind me asking?" Jimmy asked.

Kyle grinned back at Jimmy. The first part of his plan had begun. "Haven't you guys seen Cartman's Facebook?"

When nobody replied, he continued - "Dudes, he's GAY and in a relationship with Butters, now." he chuckled hysterically.

But Kyle was the only one to laugh. Timmy smiled too, but that wasn't anything unusual. Nobody seemed phased, amused or surprised at all. Kyle's laughter fell silent. "So..am I the _only_ one who finds this hilarious? Come on. Cartman is gay!"

"Just whuh-what's so hilarious about someone being gay, Kyle?" Jimmy retorted, a bit of venom in his response. "Quite fuh-frankly, I find it off-fffensive to laugh at those who are different in some way." he twisted his face into a frown. Bebe and Wendy overheard their conversation and came to the table.

Kyle furrowed his eyebrows. "No, I'm not saying that Jimmy. It's just..I mean..ERIC CARTMAN, the Cartman who makes fun of everyone, is a gay fag. You don't see the irony? Heh, we should go over there and just make fun of him! Pay back for all the times he's bothered us, right?"

"Dude, it's not cool to use the F word, Kyle." Craig, out of nowhere, defended Cartman. It was as though he'd grown a third leg. "Bullying and calling people faggots is insensitive!"

"But it's _Cartman_! He _is_ a bully!He deserves it!_"_ Kyle yelled. Everyone at the table just looked at Kyle with disgust upon their faces. Wendy and Bebe looked offended as they stood and listened. "Kyle, what are you, an ignorant homophobe?" Bebe chimed in. By now, Kyle was blushing with both anger and embarrassment. He looked over to the table where Cartman and Butters sat, watching them happily eat their lunch. Butters didn't seem very nervous. Nothing was going according to his plan.

"But..how can you support Cartman? He's a fat, gay, fucking piece of shit! What has he done to deserve any respect?" he yelled, nervously pulling at his hair.

Wendy stood with her hand on her hip, giving Kyle a mean glare. "He's at least not afraid to admit who he is, same with Butters. They're both very brave, and for that we should all try to respect them. Being gay must be really hard. Imagine being different from everybody else, and feeling shame for it! I think we at least owe it to them to try and be nice."

"Yeah!" the table cheered, and they began to clap at Wendy's speech.

"Gahh!" Kyle screamed and stormed out of the cafeteria. As he walked out, he looked back and saw the students getting up on top of the lunch tables and beginning to dance, as they sang an improvisational musical number about gay tolerance.


	4. Popularity

The next day at school, Kyle saw Stan and Kenny waiting at the front of the school. Cartman wasn't with them. They stood against the brick wall with their hands in their pockets, looking bored. Kyle wasn't really in the mood to talk to his friends, though. He walked straight past his buddies and towards the elementary school doors. "Kyle, wait!" Stan called.

He stopped and sighed. "What is it?"

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you." Stan warned.

* * *

"Hey, can I like...get an autograph from you?" a third grade student nervously pushed his notebook and pen out towards Cartman, a hopeful look on his face. Cartman paused at his locker and looked at the other student. School would be starting in a few minutes, and he didn't want to get a detention for being late to homeroom twice. Mr. Garrison was a dick like that.

"And, just who the hell are you?" he muttered.

"Oh, sorry..my name is Milton. You don't know me, but I'm a big fan of yours. I think you're really brave to come out and be so confident about it." the boy explained. Cartman cocked his head to the side, but reluctantly took the notebook and signed his name on it. The boy flashed him a big smile and then ran away._ 'What a faggot!'_ Cartman thought.

Butters had been watching from his own locker across the hallway. He lurked over towards Cartman, who was facing his locker again, and poked him on the shoulder. "God dammit, why the hell do you assholes keep bothering me?!" Cartman screamed in rage. Then he turned around. "Oh, Butters. Hi."

Butters grinned. "Hi, umm.." without being able to think of anything clever to say, he simply reached his arms around Cartman's chubby neck and pulled him in for a life-squeezing hug. Cartman's eyes popped open wide, and his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. His reflexes were about to hug Butters back, before he came to his senses and pushed him away.

"Butters, what are you doing?" Cartman spat in disgust.

Butters opened his mouth to speak, but didn't know what to say. He shifted on his left and right feet. "I just thought that, uh, maybe since we're more open now about our relationship and all, I could..ya know, be more open with my affection!" he admitted meekly.

"Butters, are you crazy? We are NOT in a relationship, okay?" Cartman said sternly.

Butters twisted his face in confusion. "Why did you send me that note, then? About thinking I'm cool, and your love for me being a deep, uh, pit?"

Cartman's eyes went wide. So they really_ did_ hack his account, and on top of that, sent a gay love letter from himself to Butters. Only a sneaky Jew would do that, of course.

"Uhh.." he was about to twiddle an excuse about having been drunk that night, when Wendy Testicleburger came over to them.

She gave them both a big, reassuring smile. "Look..I know we don't talk much, but I just wanted to say I'm proud of you two for having the bravery to admit you're gay. I'm sorry that some people were picking on you about it."

"Aww, gee thanks Wendy." Butters said with a sheepish smile.

Cartman wanted to punch her in the face, but he held himself back and composed himself. "Who was picking on us?"

Wendy looked down at the floor in shame. "Didn't you overhear at lunch? Kyle was being an ignorant homophobe, it was really shocking. I guess I thought he was better than that, but ignorance knows no bounds."

A little tick went off suddenly in Cartman's brain. Kyle's little plan to embarrass him so far had ended up backfiring. This was great. He had the upper hand now. And _Kyle_..would suffer the consequences of his own idiotic plan. He smiled contently to himself. He would deal with Kyle later.

* * *

The lunch bell sounded. It was time for Cartman's favorite subject. So far, his whole day had gone pretty smoothly. People were noticing him all of a sudden, and treating him with new found respect for absolutely no reason at all. He even called Clyde a dick and got away with it.

Things were going well for Butters, too. He noticed that the girls were being very nice to him all of a sudden. They even invited him to the mall on the weekend. He still wasn't sure how he felt about Cartman, though. But he knew that this relationship thing was getting him positive attention he'd never gotten before, so he might as well go along with it.

When Cartman and Butters came into the cafeteria together holding hands, random people stood up and applauded them. They sat down together at their usual lunch table, and everyone wanted to talk to them. Stan and Kenny were at the table, too. They couldn't believe it. Kyle arrived later, but as he tried to sit down, Jimmy put his hand out to block the bench space.

"S-sorry Kyle, but we'd ruh-rrather not have _b-bigots_ at our table." he said with a grimace. A few others at the table cheered in agreement. Kyle grinded his teeth. He was about to walk away, when Cartman finally spoke up.

"Guys! _Kahl _may be an ignorant Jew, but we can't exclude him. That would make _us_ bigots as well." he said with smug satisfaction.

Jimmy looked guilty. "C-Cartman, y-you're right. W-wow, suh-such insight from those w-who face adversity!"

Kyle didn't respond. He was speechless. "Um, I have to go to the bathroom." he muttered and quickly ran out of the cafeteria. Stan watched as his friend stormed off. "Me too." he said, following quickly behind. "Me moo!" Kenny shouted through his muffled coat, running after the other two.

"So they're _all_ a part of this.." Cartman thought to himself, tapping his chin.


	5. Follow the Green Hat

Kyle left the cafeteria quickly, noticing a poster on the wall as he left that had not previously been there. "GAY TOLERANCE" it read in big capital letters, with a picture of rainbow colored stick figures holding hands. He angrily tore it down and ran into the bathroom. Stan and Kenny exchanged worried glances, quickly following behind him.

When Kyle reached the bathroom, he slumped against the wall, hiding his face in his hands. "Well, this certainly didn't go as planned." he said quietly to himself.

Stan gently put a hand on his shoulder. "I tried to tell you, dude. You can't win against Cartman. You of all people should know that by now."

Kyle seethed. "Fuck you, Stan! Who's side are you on?"

Stan moved back, holding his hands up. "I'm just being realistic! You always get into these sort of situations. It's about time you realize they don't work."

Kenny murmured something incomprehensible, sympathetically patting Kyle's back.

"I didn't predict anything like _this_ would happen! Now everyone hates _me! _This morning, your girlfriend gave me a death glare." Kyle said, sticking his tongue out in a gagging expression.

Stan sighed. "I told you, she's not my girlfriend! ..Not right now, I mean."

Kenny made a perverted comment from beneath his hood. Kyle and Kenny both chuckled, while Stan punched Kenny in the arm.

"And now everyone loves Cartman just because they think he's gay. Butters is becoming popular, too." Kyle muttered exasperatedly. "Why are people so stupid? I just hope Cartman tells them the truth. He can't keep up the act forever!"

* * *

The sky was clear, the sun was shining. Things were going perfect when school let out that day. For Eric Cartman, at least. Who knew that being gay would be so sweet? He never expected all this positive attention. Not to mention the most important fact of all; Kahl had, in a shitty attempt to embarrass him, ended up ruining his own reputation instead.

But he knew it wasn't just Kyle that was involved. Who else was hanging out at Kyle's house the other day? None other than Kenneh and Stan. Of course they were involved. But it had to be Kyle who orchestrated the prank.

And he _still_ didn't have access to his Facebook account. He would be paying a little visit to Kyle's house later that day.

Butters caught up to him outside the school, tugging alongside him. "Eric!" he yelled.

Cartman turned around, sighing. Even if he did get a sense of satisfaction from this new treatment, he still had to deal with Butters.

"Eric, we need to talk." Butters said slowly. "I-I don't know how to say this, but I...I don't think I love you anymore!" he reluctantly admitted. He felt dreadful for having to break his friend's heart like this, but he needed to be honest. "In fact, I-I-I'm not sure I ever loved you to begin with!"

Cartman supposed this wouldn't be able to last forever. Even if it had only been a day so far. It would take some manipulation to get Butters back on his side. He thought quickly. And then a stream of fake tears came flooding out of his eyes. He sobbed dramatically. "B-b-but you said you loved mee!" he whined.

Butters gnawed on a fingernail nervously. "YOU said I loved you! You just keep confusing me, putting all these thoughts in my head! I don't know what to believe!" he yelled, flustered from the drama.

Cartman knew he had to be more clever if he wanted to win this. He wiped the fake tears from his eyes, painfully holding his chest. "Butters, I need you..remember all the good times we've been through? Don't throw it away like this!" pleaded, a sad look on his face.

Butters felt terrible. Seeing his friend in such distress over him was something he'd never expect to see, but he felt it was genuine. Though, he couldn't really recall many 'good times' with Cartman. Maybe his memory was just bad. He reluctantly offered a hug, and Cartman nearly squeezed him to death, sobbing theatrically. "Just give me a chance!" he begged.

Butters started to tear up. A small group of onlookers had formed around them to watch the drama. "O-okay..I'm sorry, Eric" he said quietly.

The small crowd applauded their makeup. In the distance, there was an angry boy in a green hat watching in disbelief. He stormed off.

Cartman pushed away from Butters and followed after the green hat.


End file.
